I Thought it was Tangiers I Wanted

I Thought it was Tangiers I Wanted by Langston Hughes

I know now
That Notre Dame is in Paris.
And the Seine is more to me now
Than a wriggling line on a map
Or a name in travel stories.

I know now
There is a Crystal Palace in Antwerp
Where a hundred women sell their naked bodies,
And the night-lovers of sailors
Wait for men on docks in Genoa.
I know now
That a great golden moon
Like a picture-book moon
Really rises behind palm groves
In Africa,
And tom-toms do beat
In village squares under the mango trees.
I know now
That Venice is a church dome
And a net-work of canals,
Tangiers a whiteness under sun.

I thought
It was Tangiers I wanted,
Or the gargoyles of Notre Dame,
Or the Crystal Palace in Antwerp,
Or the golden palm-grove moon in Africa,
Or a church dome and a net-work of canals.

Happiness lies nowhere,
Some old fool said,
If not within oneself.

It’s a sure thing
Notre Dame is in Paris,–
But I thought it was Tangiers I wanted.

A student just created a presentation on this poem in class and I felt a strong connection to this poem- particularly the lines, "Happiness lies nowhere...if not within oneself".  I feel as if we often seek happiness outside of ourselves- we fill our life with "if only's"-  if only I had a better job, I would be happy.  If only I had lots of money, I would be happy.  If only I had more friends, I would be happy. If only, if only, if only.

Based upon movies like "Eat, Pray, Love" or "Under the Tuscan Sun", I was certain that when we moved here, joy and happiness would fill all of our days as we traveled through Asia.  The truth is that we still have to work and pay bills and go grocery shopping and deal with the day to day stresses of living.   And this has helped to lead me to Hughes's same conclusion- the secret to life isn't about constantly changing your external environment in the hope that the grass truly will be greener on the other side, but instead on focusing on your internal environment- how can you change your attitude, so that you can approach each day with joy and happiness? 

This isn't to say that you shouldn't move abroad or switch jobs or change up your external environment- and it also isn't to say that these things can't make you happier- They certainly can provide you with great new experiences and help you to develop as a person-
But it is mostly just a reminder to myself, that instead of "if onlying" away my time,  the best place to seek true happiness is always within.